Opportunity.

God is a God of opportunity…but all in His timing. And, it’s rather funny to me how quickly God can open doors and close doors. In a matter of 24 hours I was contacted by two separate people about possible job opportunities. After not having ANY in the last 7 months, this is rather nice. The key though is to keep praying and seeking His will. Both of these options seem great, but He ultimately knows what’s best and what He has in store, and I would NEVER want to miss that.

My heart is stirred with such awe as I realize how great my God is…how full of compassion and mercy He is…and as I come to see how much His heart is for me, not against me. He sees me and He cares for me more than anyone ever could. Though at times I stray, He gently calls me closer to His side and reminds me of His great promises.

Incredible.

Seasons.

Seasons.

They come and they go, most unannounced, but expected. And every season has its ups and downs. Every season of life teaches us something new. But, as much as I look forward to the changing of seasons (especially the beautiful colors of fall), I cannot say I look forward to the changing of life seasons.

Transition is not easy for me, nor is change my favorite of all experiences. Although such things keep life interesting and full of the unexpected, I do not always enjoy such surprises. And this season of life has been the most trying of all (thus far anyway).

It is one full of emotion and character building, one full of change, rebirth, and renewal. One filled with memories of good and the stripping down of the bad; one full of healing and restoration and change. All for the good, but not all feeling good.

I have never been stripped of independence and control like I have in this present season of life. It’s like He’s allowing the “stuff” to be taken away in order to build upon a sure foundation of faith. I wish such character building didn’t cost so much. But, in the end I am sure I will not want to trade it for anything.

At this point I feel naked. Exposed. Every aspect of my character is being put to the test. I believe I have overcome many tests, but new ones arise day to day. Being home drives me to these places a lot of the time. God has purpose in all of it, but it can be overwhelming at times. The fight never ends. And I cannot say I have been perfect through all of it.

I have learned many things during this season of my life. I have learned the need to cling to His promises and the truth of His word, no matter the circumstances. I have learned the power of claiming such truths over my life, even when I cannot seem to see past the circumstances. I have learned that faith truly is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not yet seen. Hope deferred could cost me my faith. And without my faith, I have nothing.

I have learned that through all things He can be my strength. I have learned that I have more fight in me than I’ve ever known. And in every fight He goes before me to help win the victory. My fight is not against flesh and blood like I have lived in the past, it’s against the forces I cannot see with my eyes alone. The battle rages on in the spiritual every moment of every day, and I am not alone in my fight.

I have learned to love my family where they are at. I do not need to change them, nor can I change them. God is at work, even when it seems impossible. I have learned the art of forgiveness is not one that I can master, but one that He must walk me through daily as I’m faced with new circumstances here everyday.

I have learned to believe, even when it doesn’t seem fair or make sense. I’ve persevered through the darkness of my soul, and through the lack of response from my God. I have not doubted His closeness, but I have questioned many other aspects of my relationship with Him. I have experienced His patience and grace like never before, and have been overwhelmed by such love. He has not let me down even though I have felt robbed of past blessings.

Emotions are the hardest to control. I have learned to have peace in the midst of trials. Have I mastered it? Not even close. But I realize that on this journey we must acknowledge our victories as we look back on the paths our lives have taken.

I have also experienced many moments of defeat. And in these moments of defeat I have learned not to be overcome by guilt or shame, but to seek the face of God for forgiveness and truth. I have learned that in these moments His truth is my life source. I have learned not to sit in defeat, but to grab hold of the lessons they teach me, and to run forward with the grace and truth passed on to me through such moments. Defeat has helped me overcome. Defeat has not defined me, but has shaped my faith. These defeats I would not trade for anything. They are as important to me as the victories.

Through all of the ups and downs of this season; through the stripping off of every branch He sees fit; through the nakedness and brokenness; through the tears and through the joys of every moment I have been faced with over the past several months, I am more in love with Jesus today than I ever was before I entered this season. I am more grateful for His sacrifice, and more aware of His heart and passion. I am more alive today than I have been in the past. Life is not perfect and I certainly have my struggles, BUT my God is still God. He still sits on the throne. He is still mighty and worthy of all honor and glory. He is MY God, and NOTHING can ever change that. I will serve Him relentlessly through every season of life. He is the greatest gift I have ever received. And I am absolutely in love with Him more today than ever before.

*Thank you Jesus that you never change. Thank you that you never leave me, nor forsake me. Thank you for your patience. Thank you that your love is far greater than anything else this world has to offer. I love you with everything in me. Be glorified in and through my life. Forever.